The first full moon on Halloween in forty years was playing on the Gulf of Mexico as I ran down to the beach. I felt like
I was running away from something but also toward something--or maybe something was coming to me? I didnt know...I had been
so confused for so long and I had come down here to sort it all out...alone. I knew, though, that spirits were supposed to
be walking among the living on this night, and I wondered if I would see one as I finally stopped running and stood staring
up at the huge silver orb that seemed close enough to touch and made the waves look like they had been tipped with frost.
That last thought made me realize that since I was standing still I was becoming cold, and that in my haste to escape I had
left the hotel without a jacket. I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered, still looking at the moon and praying that
for one night its brilliant light would generate some warm. Of course this was to no avail, and I lowered my eyes to watch
the waves lap at the pewter-colored sand. Only now did I hear the soothing sound they made, for until that moment my heart
had been pounding in my ears. Slowly it began to beat more normally, until finally its rhythm actually seemed relaxing. My
brain wouldnt stop spinning, though, with thoughts of the chaos my life had become.
Suddenly, the spinning was lessening, and I felt a tingling warmth running down my head and shoulders to my upper arms.
Then this feeling began to press into my back, and I sensed that there was someone standing behind me, gradually coming closer
as his hands reached my elbows and his long arms wrapped around me, his chest against my back and his breath stirring my hair.
I knew it was a man, but didnt know how I knew. I also knew that he was a good deal taller than me, for I had the sense of
his chin coming to rest on the top of my head. But when I looked down, I didnt see anyone elses arms or hands in front of
me, and I shivered again--this time in fear. That was when I heard his voice in my mind, not in my ears--though I felt his
breath next to one of them. "Shhhh," he seemed to be saying, "Dont be afraid...I wont hurt you...I promise this will make
everything wonderful." I lifted my head again and felt his chin on top of it once more; in spite of myself I relaxed into
him. It seemed that one of his hands lifted away from my waist and raised to stroke my hair along the side of my neck, but
I didnt see it happening. I just felt the sweet sensation as fingers--which I somehow knew were long and delicate for a man--touched
my earlobe and neck softly as the palm of his hand ran down over my hair. The next thing I knew, those fingers were moving
my hair back and I felt his breath on my neck. My whole body tingled now, with the feelings I was already experiencing and
the anticipation of what was to happen next.
My knees seemed to be buckling, but even with only one arm around me he was
strong enough to hold me up. Just as I was realizing this, I felt his breath becoming hotter on my neck and knew that any
second his lips would be on my skin. I felt as if I would faint when--after what seemed like eternity--I sensed something
making contact at the curve where my neck met my shoulder. It wasnt his lips, but rather a prickling sensation as if this
man had a mustache. Along with this came more heat and moisture from his breath, until finally I felt full, wet lips kissing
me, slightly parted with the tip of his tongue between them. The tingling that had first signalled his presence ran from his
tongue through my entire being. My brain started spinning again, but now it was as if I were floating. Both his arms were
around me again, and he was kissing up my neck to a place just below my ear. There he stopped and I felt the pressure of his
lips become stronger. I was dreamily aware that he was sucking the skin until it was between his teeth. He didnt bite me;
nonetheless I felt sharpness coupling with the softness of his gentle lips and tongue. Clutching me closer, he continued to
do this until I thought I would not be able to stand it much longer. Yet I could feel my lips curving into a big, open smile--I
knew that I had never been so happy in all my life. Just when the feeling on my neck threatened to become pain, he stopped
sucking and his lips trailed up to my cheek, placing kisses as he went. Each time I felt his breath first, then his mustache,
then his lips with his tongue protruding just a tiny bit and at last the tingling. I was moaning by this time, and after his
lips had touched my temple, the man lifted his head and laughed. I could sense that his head was thrown back, and the sound
he made was like angels singing.
This made me stop smiling and moaning--was that who he was? An angel? A spirit? My mind rapidly formed the conclusion that
he had to be a spirit, because I had seen nothing of him and I knew that angels didnt do the things he was doing to me. His
cheek was resting against my temple and I tried to turn my head so I could see his face, if that were possible. But as I moved
in his embrace, I felt his breath next to my ear again and heard him say in my mind, "No, dont turn around...just rest...and
know that someone loves you..." I tried to ask who, but I couldnt speak. "I am the one who loves you...." he answered in my
mind, reading my thoughts. "Look at the moon," he told me in a commanding yet pleading tone, "It is full of that love." My
thoughts told him, "I know...thank you so much." He kissed my temple quickly again, and I reached up to touch the softest
hair I had ever felt. The tingling sensation I had felt at first returned to my whole body, but now it was moving out of me
and I knew that he would be leaving. My mind cried out, "Please dont go! I love you too!" Just before the tingling receded
completely from my head, I felt him telling me, "I wont abandon you...whenever you need me I will come to you...you wont need
I sank to my knees in the sand, still staring at the moon, and in it I saw at last the face of the man who
had taken my turmoil away. Dark and beautiful, his eyes flashed and winked at me. White and perfect, his teeth smiled at me.
In the twinkling of the stars I heard his laughter...in the movement of the clouds I felt his touch and his kiss. I knew I
always would, and that from now on...whenever I saw these things...I would be as warm as I was now, on this heaven-sent Halloween